Toddler: The Guru of Diversion
January 11, 2018
Another day spent standing up. Sigh. Does anyone remember what it felt like to sit down before sunset? What a life of luxury it was.
Every day my toddler works hard to distract me from annoying her. Today, I’m just here to add on to the fun conversation I Â had with my Toddler (who by the way, can be an excellent lawyer) which took 2-3 hours. And this is just from today.
Toddler: No sleepy time, I want foodieÂ
Translation: I don’t want a nap, I want to eat the food you so meticulously prepared.
Toddler: No Foodie, I want pizgha
Translation: I don’t want to eat what you just made, I want Pizza
Toddler: No pizgha Mama, I want chickun
Translation: I don’t want Pizza you silly goose, I want chicken strips
Toddler: No no no chickun, I want muffin man
Translation: Get this chicken away from me. I want a muffin. The word ‘man’ is there because of the song so she thinks  a muffin is called ” muffin man”
Toddler: No want muffin man. Let’s go play slime
Translation: Mom why you all psycho and getting me a muffin when I clearly don’t want it. Let’s go play with play dough that I like to call slime
By that time we had successfully gone past nap time and lunch time and on to snack time.
Or as we call it, it’s gotta be after 5pm somewhere.
Momma’s gotta go, peace out everyone.
